Friday, 21 October 2016

DEEP DOWN WITHIN...

Deep down within me
Is a deep desire to see prosperity of humanity
Deep down within me
Is an unquestionable passion to see a world of success
Deep down within me
Is an inordinate affection for the afflicted and vulnerable
Deep down within me
Is a burning desire to make knowledge spread across the globe

Deep down within me
Is a voice of conscience signing a moral covenant with my physical self
Deep down within me
Is a plenitude of gratitude for my multitude of well-wishers
Deep down within me
Is an unqualified apology to all I've wrongly wronged
Deep down within me
Is a song to soar the depressed and distressed

Deep down within me
Is an agenda to share the truth with the youth
Deep down within me
Is an unfettered love for nature
Deep down within me
Is an unflinching zeal to decry global crime
Deep down with me
Is an uncompromising instinct to heed conscience

Above all, deep down within me
Is a voracious appetite for the word of my maker, creator
So deep down within me
Is an unconditional love for Otwedeampon Nyankopon and onua Nipa Dasani
Now, your turn... What's deep down within you?

- MC Sir Joe ©October, 2016

Follow me on Social Media...
Facebook: Joseph Onwona Appah
Twitter: @MC_SirJoe
Instagram: @mc_sirjoe
Whatsapp: +233 242 673 002
Email: pcmc.josephappah@gmail.com

Monday, 4 July 2016

OMNIBUS: 10 PC&SMC's SECRETS (GREAT MC TIPS)

You may have missed some or all the 10 Professional Corporate & Social Master of Ceremonies (PC&SMC)'s Secrets (otherwise known as Great MC Tips) as serialised over the past few weeks. I generously bring you the omnibus of the 10 tips.

1⃣I take to heart💚 Dale Carnegie's 👨sage advice, "... a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound🎶 in any language." In view of this, I have devised strategies that help me to remember the names of my guests👩👴 and pronounce them appropriately much to their surprise...😆

2⃣ Getting to the venue🏫 not less than an hour before the event starts is not optional. This helps me to familiarise myself with the venue and get to know the other staff of the event.

3⃣ I pledge to entertain my guests or better still  let them enjoy the event. However, I do not strive to be funny😷 since I'm not a comedian🎭. I only mirror my guests' feelings😆😅.

4⃣ I give the audience further reasons to be appreciative👏✌️ of the message📜 delivered by a speaker. This I do by listening attentively👂 and jotting down salient points✏️📋 which I emphasise after the speech. This strategy does not only remind the audience of what was said but also gives the speaker reason to believe that someone listened to her or him.

5⃣I forge instant cordial relationship👫 with all the persons who have roles to play at the event. Most importantly, I get to know the DJ by name and as I mention🎤 it and praise him as well, he feels flattered to give off his best.

6⃣ Since most of the events I emcee use music🎼🎶, I do not only listen 🔊 and make a selection earlier but also keep these selection on my pendrive in case the DJ👲 does not have them.

7⃣ To stay relevant, I employ this time-tested three-in-one📚 approach: Continuous Researching📰, Continuous Reading📖 and Continuous Rehearsing...

8⃣ I avoid using the speakers' biography as their introduction during that important event.
How creatively effective it is when I fashion out the introduction answering these four questions taught by Ron Tacchi & Winston Marsh:

1. Why this speaker?👴
2. Why this subject?📜
3. Why this audience?👪👬
4. Why now?🕧

9⃣No two individuals are the same. So every MC must be unique. One of my uniqueness is how in most cases I employ my unique writing ability✏️📋.

Check this out...

http://josephappah.blogspot.com/2015/05/joseph-appah-hosts-cprs-maiden-edition.html?m=1

🔟In my line of duty, I know who I am🚶. I am not just an announcer nor just a compere (talking head)🎤. I am the Master of Ceremonies, so I take charge of the whole event!! (Exhibiting my little 'Do you know who I am' attitude😜😄👮)

Thank you for reading. I hope it will be helpful if you get this rare opportunity of being the MC for a friend's event.

Still, MC Sir Joe, the PC&SMC u can trust... For event booking: +233 242 673 002
Twitter: MC_SirJoe
Instagram: mc_sirjoe

#ThePCSMC #Fireworks

Friday, 1 July 2016

THE SWITZERLAND EXPERIENCE: Passport Renewal Wahala - Part 2

Unperturbed about the earlier experience, I mustered the courage for the second phase of the passport renewal. This was when I had to submit the application documents at the Tema station passport office. As usual, early morning on Friday I was there. The long queue was always the same🚶🚶🚶🚶.

But now I began to see many familiar faces; ones which I saw about 2 weeks before the day. These were the 'Goro boys' or 'Connection men' 👬 I mentioned in part one. They had devised many ways of making money at the place from unsuspecting passport applicants🙆.

Quite seriously funny the modus operandi of one of them as I really observed👮. He gets there very early (Well, I don't know if he sleeps there😴). He is first in the queue and after after being followed by about five people, he excuses himself making the second person aware. He now goes to hide somewhere and watches as more people join. When about 3 or 5 more join, he comes quietly to stand behind and the last person, who never knew that he was already in the queue.

In some few minutes, when about two more people join behind him, he whispers something into the ear of the one in front of him, and moves away to his hiding place. He process continues. Now he gets about four or five different positions in the queue. I can feel surprise already welling up in you and the obvious question is why will he do that. Is the answer not obvious? Cash💵.

Now, this is the point of time when selling is done. Now, when the queue is very long, he goes to the ones who are really at the bottom of it and sells his positions. Of course, the price will vary by position; the first position is certainly not the same as the middle one. Unfortunately, I didn't need one. I didn't want one. So I don't know the price.

Tell you the truth, it's only real observers who could see what was going on.

There were those who were parading the place under the guise of assisting applicants with their application. For those applicants who did not have their forms endorsed had among the connection men those who could endorse their forms for them. But then I thought, 'How could someone buy the form and leave such important part blank only for someone he or she did not know to endorse?'.

All these and more were ongoing but I needed to be calm and focus on my mission. Nothing must cross my way in the application. At all cost my application must be successful, I thought.

At 6:30 🕡 the gate was opened after a quick look at our documents by some passport officials. We entered and made our way to the place dedicated for the forms vetting and submission. Gradually, it was my turn and everything went on smoothly. The form with the other documents was collected and straight I left the place with my transaction number and a promise of getting my new passport exactly a month later, that is March 18. Any Wahala? No Wahala!🍀

Certainly, the passport wasn't the only document needed. I started working on the Letter of Introduction, the work leave letter and spousal consent letter among others.

Early Wednesday morning, (March 18) was the day🌻. As usual, early arrival was a must. I had my Transaction Number for the collection with me. No Ghanaman time. The usual long queue was on but this time round for the collection.

I cannot be too sure here, but I think just about a quarter of those who were ahead of me had their passports ready😭. Obviously, that was my cause for alarm. Some of them flared up 😵😫 in the process and began counting the numerous times they had been at the office for collection of their passports but to no avail.

Then it was my turn. She took my transaction number and pressed a few keys on her keyboard💻. She looked at me and the answer was obvious; NEGATIVE! Chai!😂... Her quick advice was for me to check on it in a month's time. Really? I didn't have a month to wait for the passport.
I had a sponsor who was working with time 🕚 and any delay meant a cancellation of the entire plan❌. Of course, cancellation. And you read that right.

Now, leaving the passport office, my thoughts were just to do something to get that new passport. And it MUST be fast🏃💨!

How I went about it and the frustrations too that came along with it, Part 3 will say it all...

Thursday, 23 June 2016

THE SWITZERLAND EXPERIENCE: Passport Renewal Wahala - Part 1

About a year ago, I was just left with a month to embark on that journey of a lifetime. After a long rest after returning, I bring you excerpts of the experience...

I vividly remember the day. It was Wednesday, January 21, 2015 at the University of Ghana in front of the Balme Library🏦. We sat on the wall and my inviter (my Swiss mum) discussed with me the invitation to visit Switzerland. Throughout the one week remaining her stay she demonstrated her commitment to her invitation in diverse ways (cash 💰inclusive). Please don't ask me how much it was. I beg, I chop am dadaaaada.

Unlike those who will do anything just to travel abroad in search of greener pastures, I was just a tourist🚶. However, I had my fair share of the numerous frustrations 😪 that one has to go through in order to travel✈️.

So in February I started to renew my passport. Make no mistake about it, my passport was not expired. Authentic information from the Swiss Embassy in Ghana states clearly that the expiration of ones passport must not be less than three months after the expiration of the visit duration. I was to visit in July and return on August 19 and my passport was due to expire in September (just a month after I'm due to return). So obviously the renewal was very essential and a must.

I bought a new form and filled just like the process of acquiring a new one. I was not perturbed at all since I knew that that was the regulation. After filling the form and with our school headmaster's endorsement, I went to the passport office on Friday, January 30, 2015 very early in the morning. The number of people who were there by 4:30 when I got there and the many 'Goro Boys' or better still, 'connection men' who were parading the frontiers of the passport office indeed is a subject for another discussion.

At 6:30, some officials came round to check our forms and when satisfied to some extent gave out a number to the applicant. When it got to my turn, the officer realised that I was 'just' renewing my passport and so asked me to go to the Passport Office at Ridge first. According to him, that was where to start such application from since all the previous data are stored. So what I was in effect going to do was what they referred to as 'Release to Scan'. Indeed, I was just angry inside and I tried not to show it since I thought that such a process should have been known somewhere either on a notice board or elsewhere just so that people wouldn't have to come and waste time just like I did. But as I intimated, I swallowed it and made my way to Ridge. Little did I know that that was the genesis of my woes.

I arrived at the Ridge office only to be told at the security point cum reception at the gate that the office is not opened to the public on Fridays. I thought I heard him say the office is not opened to the public only on Fridays.

Ha! Why didn't I know this one too. Well, I had no choice than to go back to work and plan for another day. On the way, I decided to do it the next Wednesday since I was less busy on Wednesdays, hoping that no frustration will come my way again.

Early Wednesday morning about 4:15, I got to the Passport Office and waited and waited for about two hours. One of the police officers who saw me later at the frontiers of the building inquired about my mission and upon hearing told me that the office is only open to the public on Mondays and Tuesdays. What! I nearly blurted out.

Why couldn't someone tell me the whole truth if there is no mystery surrounding this whole passport renewal? Chai! Who am I to challenge a GH security officer with all their "Do you know who I am" attitude? Quietly, with all my thought buried in my head I headed to the workplace.

I was there again the next Monday morning. Indeed, there were many people applying too. With all self confident that nobody dares tell me that the day is not right for me, I was quiet in the queue for those of us applying for the release of our data. Then for a moment something struck my attention. I heard some people discussing their frustration with others and some in the process showing their application document. Attached to their passport forms were their receipts. Quickly, I rummaged through the polythene bag containing my documents and nowhere was my receipt. Then I asked one of the officials at the gate and she clearly explained that without the receipt I could not get my application through. Why has success so eluded me in the passport renewal process? Why? I wish I knew where it was. Without wasting much time I set off straight to the house and lo and behold, there it was in my drawer.

It was so obvious that if indeed I was bent on getting the application done, then the following day was the day to go there again. I went to work.

Tuesday morning I was there and now everything went through. I mean my documents were briefly scrutinised by the officials and I was asked to submit it in one of the offices in the building. I did and I was asked to return the following day at 2 O'Clock for it. Now I could heave a sigh of relief after clearing step one.

I went for my application form with my old passport the following day as said. Another smile creased my face.

Part 2 soon... Please!!

Friday, 4 March 2016

Impoverishing Teachers versus Developing Education

“Education can break the cycle of poverty and abuse” – J. D. Mahama (SoNA - February 25, 2016). Without a doubt, the essence of education cannot be overemphasized. The impact of sustainable and developmental education permeates positively all aspects of our lives and all sectors of the economy.  And suffice to say, in the centre of education is the teacher. The teacher is a resource. The teacher is an absolute gem. The teacher is also part of the development of education.

Too many times teachers just like many other professionals have had to embark on strike to press home their demands on what is due them. The three professional teacher bodies namely Ghana National Association of Teachers (GNAT), National Association of Graduate Teachers (NAGRAT) and the Coalition of Concerned Teachers have all on many and separate occasions called on their members to put down their teaching materials to embark on the strike euphemistically referring to them as attending a series of negotiation meeting.

Just within last week, what is deemed to be unprecedented in the usual strike threats was issued by the teachers. The three professional teacher unions together made a case to impress on government through the Ghana Education Service (GES) to pay their salaries outstanding. The ultimatum was given as Monday, February 29, 2016. After this date, the country according to the executives of these unions would experience a massive country-wide strike action.

The GES vehemently denied the fifteen million Ghana cedis (GHC15million) owing them by government. This is the accumulation of amounts outstanding over the period from 2012 to 2015. However, the Minister of Employment and Labour Relations, Hon. Haruna Iddrisu noted the truth in the claims of the unions and was rather swift after a negotiation meeting with the executives of the union to order the ‘immediate’ release of One million and seven hundred thousand Ghana Cedis (GHC1.7million). This is just about a tenth of the teachers’ demand.

Just two days after the ‘order to release the money’ was issued, the president of the Republic and Commander-in-Chief of the Ghana Armed Forces, His Excellency Dr John Dramani Mahama delivered his State of the Nation’s Address. I was very happy when I heard him speak about the state of education in the nation right after the usual vocatives and sympathizing with parliament over their loss of a member. This is evidently a demonstration of the importance with which the president attaches to education.

So in the state of education, the president spoke about the increment in the enrolment made possible by the implementation of the free education policy, free exercise and textbooks, sandals and uniforms distribution and the school feeding programme. The few schools built out of the two hundred (200) community day Senior High Schools are also contributing to the increased access to education.
The statistics given in what the president called ‘Evidence-based State of the Nation Address’ was indeed impressive and one could not but agree with the fact that there has been a monumental increase in access to education. This is what a developing nation poised at reaching developmental goals must do in spite of all problems bedevilling the economy.

With all these wonderful policies and their implementation, one wonders why the teacher is so marginalized. The teachers are directly under the GES and for the service to refuse to work in their interest leaves much to be desired. But how could they not know or better still refuse to know about such gargantuan amount owed their employees?

Make no mistake about it, this has been the number one reason teachers in the country have always embarked on strike. But is that all there is as far as things militating against the teacher development are concerned? A big fat no! Many are the problems that the typical Ghanaian teacher is confronted with in both the private and public sectors.

About a year and half ago, I called an English language teacher at Tanoso Model Junior High School located in Sunyani in the Brong Ahafo Region of Ghana, Mr Peter Suaka, on phone. I had never met this gentleman before and we have never met since I made the call to him. The message was simple; I called and congratulated him on an interesting and thought-provoking article he had published about the plight of teachers. As a professional and practised teacher, Mr Suaka brought his experience to bear in that no-nonsense article titled, ‘But Who Speaks for the Teacher?’ I was just fascinated by the analyses he made while he gave a direct response to the cause of teachers’ plight in his assessment.
I have decided to give highlights from that detailed article. In which case, I urge you to read directly the about 1700 word document published on October 16, 2014. His call on teachers to be assertive and speak openly about their plight was direct rubbishing the unscripted but widespread ‘culture of silence’ on their part.  (http://myjoyonline.com/opinion/2014/October-16th/but-who-speaks-for-the-teacher.php)

Trained teachers, professional teachers, great teachers, experienced teachers, graduate teachers and qualified teachers are but a few of the names we use to give ourselves some morale booster to stay in the job. Chai… Just a little diversion; did I say ‘we use to give ourselves’? Sorry, I just remembered I’ve not mentioned that I’m a teacher too. But quite unfortunately, I don’t even know where to put myself oo... Still, as pointed out by Peter, how could the great teacher likened to a great hunter be given only a catapult to kill a lion? You may argue that with dexterity, it is possible. I agree. However, the main issue in this is the survival and success rate of this expert using this inadequate resource to achieve that end. Obviously, poor resource and motivation lead to poor performance.

The twenty-first century teacher is no longer content with the popular age-old ‘motivational’ saying that the teacher’s pay is in heaven. Who said why not? The teacher just like all other professionals needs to pay huge sums of money to get the needed training. The teacher trainee allowance has even been scrapped off. Student teachers have had to take student loans to be able to complete their courses.
Then later the teacher seeking professional development pursues an exceedingly exorbitant Post Graduate Diploma or Master’s degree in Education programme. Take it or leave it, it is only the most austere living of the Ghanaian teacher that can help afford. These high amounts charged as fees are to be paid fully before the beginning of each semester. Respectfully, I ask, how possibly could such an excruciatingly elephantine earthly expense be made only for one to be asked to just cool off with the expectation of a heavily heavenly reward while others enjoy? Oh yes, while others enjoy. Hmm… I just sighed, nothing else.
For one thing, Mr Suaka commented on the rather monetization of our society. The society including the church with its clergy is even so corrupted that one is offered a particular status depending on her or his wealth. The depth of one’s reasoning, experience and capabilities are relegated into the abyss of irrelevance. To a very large extent, many do not even question the source of one’s wealth today. What is important is the wealth.  

What is the position then of the deliberately impoverished teacher in this situation? Sure, deliberately impoverished. Teachers are recruited by the Ghana Education Service and for the first two years, they do not receive any salary. Throughout these years or even more, recruited teachers have to go through a very tall and unpalatable bureaucratic process in order to get what is due them. This sad story has been made sadder with the recent introduction of the ‘victims’ getting only three months’ salary after serving for the two or more years. And quite sadly again, only those who are closer to the powers that be are those whose applications are processed quicker.

So we indeed impoverish the teachers. After which, we expect miracles from them. The students must pass their exams. The students must become responsible people. The students must get a high earning job. The students must have national recognition in their future endeavours. When these fail, the teachers are to blame. These expectations come in the midst of all the confusion. And a time when even the students know how impoverished their teachers are and of course do not want to aspire to become like them. Fortunately, I have not experienced any outright rudeness from any of my students. But even if it does happen, my conviction is that I am rich no matter what.

It’s very commendable government’s commitment toward improving educational standards and access in the country. However, it’s high time real recognition was given to teachers. The government must make a conscious and concerted effort to improve the lot of teachers, if not more than the politicians. The government must remove all the bottlenecks to ensure that teachers get what is due them, if not more, on time. While these are being done, the government must ensure that the teachers in the private sector also get what is due them since every Ghanaian child deserves the best of tuition from Ghanaian motivated and resourced teachers.

My name is Sir Joseph Appah (Sir Joe, for short), a title given to me by my students which I never trivialise. My slogan has always been, “Still a teacher…”

You can also call me MC Sir Joe. That is when you meet me at your next event clad as the Professional Corporate and Social Master of Ceremonies to give you a red-carpet treatment of your life. With this, my slogan has always been, “the PC&SMC, u can trust…”

Friday, 26 February 2016

LOVE'S THE SWEETEST THING...

Love’s the simplest but sweetest thing created
Wishes best for present, future and even belated
Love’s achievements abound and unprecedented
I concur; love without real reason leads you delusional
Emotionally unemotional --
On a path, unwanted
Certainly setting the agenda to engender hatred
Love’s the simplest but sweetest thing created
Wishes best for present, future and even belated

Foetus’s umbilical cord tautly tied to mum
Keeping them tightly together without gum
All in love
The ordeal, trauma and sleepless nights wait
The vomiting, spitting linger as if it’s fate
The D-day’s agonising agony
As if of the torture of first degree felony
Alas, the sight of bouncing baby’s all things above
Love’s the simplest but sweetest thing created
Wishes best for present, future and even belated

The massaging, cuddling and fondling
What a sweet bubbling feeling
 Patiently nursing the seedling
As the enema of love administers
And the soothing lullaby overpowers the sensational cry
While breast nourishes playing its roles
Connecting the stronger and fragile souls
Love’s the simplest but sweetest thing created
Wishes best for present, future and even belated
A daddy’s eye flicker
Gazing admiringly while the object of his fatherhood frogs
Playing in the sand with dogs
Taa taa tuu tuu the tiny legs on the road as they mould
A sight to behold
The splashing of surfeit hugs and kisses
Replacing misses
When the day gets longer
Love’s the simplest but sweetest thing created
Wishes best for present, future and even belated
  
Those years in the sweet adorable teens
Using every possibly impossible means
The boy finds the girl and after her he goes
Every move, every pose
Finding Gehena snowflakes for her he must
Emulating adults
Till the die is cast
I call it love, they call it lust
Love’s the simplest but sweetest thing created
Wishes best for present, future and even belated

When maturity finds the man
In his room his Eve places her gun
In an institution societally touted
Bringing a man and a woman so united
Into their bosoms they clench
As their sensual inferno they quench
Deep locomotive love like an abyss
 Refreshingly refreshes, striking to eternal bliss
A gift unseen yet massively appreciated
Love’s the simplest but sweetest thing created

Wishes best for present, future and even belated

© MC Sir Joe, February 2016

Tuesday, 23 February 2016

Inside the Bishop's Bible

How could I decide to stop writing my opinions on issues making the round? Or was it a break? For whatever that it was, I’m back and that is the good news, I guess. In any case, even if I earlier decided to stop, like Jeremiah of old said about the preaching of word of God, I cannot stop for I feel it burning within my bones to speak.

For about three weeks now the media has been bubbling with the news of our Osofo one… the ‘chameleon’ pastor, Bishop Daniel Obinim of the International God’s Way Church. Many are those who have written extensively about his outburst concerning his ability to change into whatever that he desires when he ‘enters the spiritual world’. Indeed, his interview on the OB TV, a television channel he owns, was not the first time he was making such a pronouncement about such ability. Sometime last year, I mistakenly, yes mistakenly, tuned my television to his channel on the MultiTV and heard him rant about how he is ‘spiritually’ capable of turning into an armed robber to rob his critics. Or is it enemies? Where were the security agencies? Chai! I’m scared too oo…

I read an article in Manasseh Azure’s Folder titled, “If Mensa Otabil and Daniel Obinim were Muslims” published on Sept., 25, 2015 (http://www.manassehazure.com/2015/09/manassehs-folder-if-mensa-otabil-and-daniel-obinim-were-muslims/). What a fine comparison the senior journalist made between these men of God. And this was about four months before this ‘animal talk’. Kobina Ansah, the satirist and Mirror Newspaper columnist also touched on the recent unprovoked explosion in his article title, “When Snakes wear Cassocks…” published in the Friday, February 19, 2016 issue of the Mirror. And of course, in his usual satirical stance, the playwright posed the rhetorical question that “There is a Lion of Judah. Aren’t we glad to have a Snake of Ghana?” Hahaha! Koby paa…

So who is he really? And I’m certainly left wondering. Supposing I were to introduce this man of God at any gathering in my capacity as a Professional Corporate and Social Master of Ceremonies (kindly don’t ask me who baptised me with that title. Hehe!), what would be the appropriate message about him?

Let me hazard one: “Discussing our next topic, ‘Animals in the House of God’ is a man who has risen steadily from a humble beginning to become a great snake, ei, son of God. He has shattered, ei as3m oo, I mean shepherded, many and has still not relented. Some call him Diabolo, others call him Opete. Osofo Broni I call him. Haha! With a resounding and thunderous round of applause, let’s welcome the bishop who stamps on the belly of pregnant women, the only bishop who is in town, Bishop Daaanieel Ooobiinim!”

For one thing that I have noted, Bishop Obinim is that man who loves to play to the gallery. I mean he has the penchant for using any possibly impossible means to garner attention that is not due him. That reminds me; how on earth a man of God worth his salt would for whatever reason that there is pick up masonry tools as pickaxes, shovels and hammer to beat up media men who were discussing issues concerning him in a live radio programme. Sure, he had the attention. For over a month, the media was talking about him.

Then later, there was the alleged issue of how he slept with one of his female congregants. This issue did not just end at the level of the amorous relationship but also he confessed, no, stated quite frankly without remorse that he had also cursed the baby that was conceived out of that relationship. What a man of God!

This is the part where one could not but agree with the assertion that our Bishop Obinim loves the publicity stunts. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that this is the case. While many young men and women are struggling and working their hearts out to come to the limelight with their works, others just like the bishop are using shortcut. And believe it or not, the hype is great for them.

The Bible was clear in the book of Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned…” So I’m a sinner and you are a sinner too. Apparently, that is not debatable. However, the issue of contention is when the individual is in a position where his actions or inactions have a preponderant effect on a large following. Then it calls for alarm.


Kindly forgive me for sounding like a pastor. Unfortunately I’m not and I cannot also make the claim of being a bible scholar. That’s why I want to know if there’s any part of the Holy Bible that makes it clear that power is given to those who are called by God to be able to turn into anything including snakes when they enter the spiritual realm. I shudder to hasten to a conclusion, but I believe it’s only inside the Bishop’s Bible.